At risk of sounding like a Tim Sample joke...
Rob went to the general store to get his midmorning cup of coffee, and while he was there some poor tourist poured himself a cup and sat down at the lunch counter next to a regular, Eliot (not his real name).
Poor Tourist: You've got a nice little town here.
Eliot: Used to.
PT: What do you mean?
Eliot: Too many damn people.
*General store erupts in snickers, Rob's included. PT gets up and leaves.*
Oh dear. If you're reading this, sir, please try us again in January.